Continuing our series of Words That Don’t Exist But Should, here are four more things that happen to DJs and clubbers that there aren’t currently words for, and that we think there should be:

 

slumberwang

/ˈsʌmbəwang

Noun:

The amount of times you will listen to the same mix on loop at a Sunday after party before you decide to walk home. At some point, the mix will start again, and something in your head will go “That’s slumberwang” and you’ll get up to go home to bed.

The slumberwang in this case is calculated by a simple formula: how much money is left in your wallet (£) divided by how soon until you have to be back at work (w) multiplied by the ratio of how many people in the room you actually know.

 

grafterparty

/ˈgɑːftə ˈpɑːti

Noun:

A grafterparty happens when you invite all your mates back after the club and then get stuck DJing for the entire afterparty because everyone else is too hammered to find their own hands.

Later you’ll moan about how you had to DJ till Sunday lunchtime by yourself, but secretly you loved every minute of it, you devil you. There’s nothing like killing it at the afterparty to finish off the weekend nicely.

 

grammenesia

/ˈgræmnesia

Noun:

Forgetting who had the gak last.

See also acute grammenesia - forgetting it was you who had the gak last.

 

tenwalls

/ˈtɛn wɔːlz

Verb:

To destroy your entire career extremely quickly.

Usage: “Wow Karen, when you ran into the office and took a shit on the photocopier you really tenwallsed your chance at a promotion.”