Continuing our series of Words That Don’t Exist But Should, here are four more things that happen to DJs and clubbers that there aren’t currently words for.

 

freejay

/‘friːʤeɪ

Noun:

A DJ who thinks that selling a hundred tickets in order to play at a club is the same as getting paid a set fee to play at a club. (It’s not the same).

 

Freejays are those DJs who’ll play for “exposure” - if you want exposure then send your mum a dick pic and leave DJing to someone who can actually command a fee!

 

goat producer

/‘gəʊt prəˈdjuːsə

Noun:

A producer who gets paid but not credited for producing cheese and butting people.

Baaa!

 

hinteraction

/ˈhɪntər ˈækʃ(ə)n

Verb:

When a punter comes up to talk to you in the DJ booth and you don't know what they said because it’s a night club with a huge sound system and you're DJing and you're wearing headphones so you just nod and say 'brilliant' or 'nice one’.

 

*smiles and nods* 

 

jamnesia

jæmˈniːzjə

Noun:

Forgetting what tune you were about to play.

Sooner or later all the late nights catch up with a DJ, and they find themselves staring blankly into space, having literally no idea what they were going to play, whilst the tune that is currently playing is rapidly counting down its last few seconds. You never really start swearing properly until you’ve only got 18 seconds in which to select, cue, and mix in your next tune.